We are hosting a fun bonfire tonight for our students and all I want to do is crawl into my bed and sob my eyes out. Something happened to me this past year that completely changed me for the worst. What used to bring me joy and excitement now brings me anxiety and dread.
I’ve changed into this depressed angry anxious person and I don’t like it. I miss the joy of looking forward to having a fun night and enjoying the company of those around me. Instead I’m praying I regain the ability to feel my face, hands, and face. Which is a common problem these days when I begin to panic.
I know, the Lord is supposed to be my source of joy. But even the thought of talking to Him these days makes me feel anxious. I know deep down it isn’t true but I feel too broken and hurt to even work on my relationship with God.