Here’s the thing..

Here’s the thing about chronic pain, at least for me….

24/7 I am constantly in some level of pain. All the time. However, there are flare ups, there are days it is significantly worse, days where it’s not as bad, days where the pain is targeted in different locations in my body, and days where it’s worse because of too much use from the day before.

So most of the time my constant level of pain is at a 5 (on a scale of 1 to 10), which is completely manageable for me. But imagine never having a break from that moderate level of pain, and occasionally having days where it’s unbearable, it starts to wear you down.

Which is where I’m at today. Today I tried to do things and ended up back in bed frustrated by how much pain I’m in because it’s at a level that isn’t possible for me to work on my list of things to do. So I broke down crying. Not necessarily because of how much pain I’m in but because I’m frustrated that I have a day off of work and I can’t physically get out of bed.

Wanna know what I did to cause a flare up of intense pain today? Yesterday I worked a full day, stood most of the day from 7am to 9:30pm, walked around with my dog and we did a small run that was maybe 100 feet. Nothing crazy, yet here I am unable to get out of bed.

I need to allow myself to rest and recuperate without mentally beating myself up over pain.

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