Stop Worrying

Can you do anything about what you are worrying about? Or are you giving yourself a panic attack or stomach ulcer over something you can do nothing more than pray about?

Philippians 4:16 Do not be anxious about anything.

I didn’t occur to me until recently that my constant anxiety and worry about literally everything going on not only in my own life, but also other people’s lives, was not adding a day to my life. In fact it was creating more problems. What I view as caring too much, is actually an incredible unhealthy way of trying to control life.

Psalm 62:1 My soul finds rest in God alone.

My not relying on the Lord for the things keeping me up at night is exhausting. Not just because I’m not sleeping because I’m so anxious, but because my brain literally never stops all day long. If I’m not worrying about finances, I’m worrying if I gave all the correct medications and dosages at work, or worrying if my man is going to get home from work without dying in a car accident, or worrying if my friends hate me, or worrying if my friends are going to be able to afford to move when they need to move, or worrying about every single thing I have zero control over. I’m not giving anything to God. Instead of handing it over, I’m holding onto it and I’m pretending it is my responsibility to have control over every aspect of life. Worrywart does not even begin to describe it.

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

So how do I relinquish this need for control that only fuels my already crappy anxiety? Well to start with I recognize it as a problem that needs attention. I recognize that God needs to be number one front and center in control over all things big, small, and in between. I recognize that my anxiety needs to be treated by a medical professional who specializes in mental illnesses. And I pray. I need to pray day in and out. Pray about everything. Pray that I can release the need for control, the need to worry.

Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength. -Corrie Ten Boom

Stop worrying because it’s not good for you. Stop worrying because life is too short to feel like the world is going to collapse every second of every day. Stop worrying because you are not putting your trust in God when you worry to the point of needing to have control over everything around you, Stop worrying because you are not appreciating the here and now. Stop worrying because it accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Matthew 6:27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

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Time

Speaking of schedules…

Something I learned during my Covid quarantine is I need me time. My schedule leading up to quarantine was dangerously packed. And if I didn’t have anything scheduled I was almost guaranteed to have a mental breakdown. Not exactly healthy.

Now I am intentional with what I schedule into my life. I want to make sure I’m not scheduling so much in that I forget my cup also needs to be filled, that my life also needs attention. I want to make sure I have actual time with my boyfriend. I want to make sure that I have openings for a friend or student texting me, “Hey can you grab coffee today?“. I want to make sure my Bible gets cracked open more than just once a week on Sunday mornings. I want to make sure my mental health gets taken care of. I want to make sure I don’t implode when change happens, but embrace it and lean into God. “Okay Lord, my time on this earth is a gift from You, use it.”

My time is not my own. My time is the Lord’s. What am I doing with this time? Am I glorifying Him? Serving Him? Leading others to Him? Am I working on my mental health, my relationship, my friendships, my communication with my family? Or am I so busy I’m not living in the moment, I’m just pushing through a crammed schedule so I don’t feel anything?

I need to be an intentional steward of my time starting with making God #1.

Change

I do not like change one bit. I will probably say that I like change but that’s me just trying to convince myself I like change. The reality being change sucks. I think it’s a mental thing, I get used to things, I create expectations of life that can be met, I like schedules, I like knowing things. But with change you don’t get that. Change isn’t consistent, change you don’t know what to expect, it’s scary, it’s not something that can always fit nicely into a little box and slide gracefully into a preexisting timeline of life. It’s messy. It’s demanding of flexibility.

But do you know who can handle the things that make me completely bonkers? God. God is all over everything even when I’m scrambling to handle the most mundane change, God is already there. He is already in the mess. He is my rock. He is my refuge among the crazy. I just need to lean on Him, let Him be my strength, let Him take over. Because if I ignore God when I’m in the eye of the hurricane of change, I will completely implode and lose focus on what actually matters.

And what actually matters is loving others like Christ loves me no matter the circumstance and no matter my schedule.

He does not ask for perfections, He asks for my surrender.

The Thief

9 Verses For When Anxiety is Taking Over

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Philippians 4:6-7

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 94:19

 When my worry is great within me, Your comfort brings joy to my soul.

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give peace to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.

2 Timothy 1:7

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

1 Peter 5:7

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Psalm 34:4

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Judgements

I’m so guilty of living a life that I’ve judged others for living. Living a life filled with sin and moments of straying from my walk with God. Yesterday I was called out on my judgement of what others wear, while not necessarily following the modesty guidelines I’ve set for myself. It’s hot so I’m wearing less clothing and not really caring if I’m showing too much skin because I justify what I’m wearing with the unbearable weather. While at the same time judging a fellow Christian for wearing something similar to what I’m wearing.

It isn’t right. I’m judging. I’m living a life that could be a stumbling block to someone else. I am not living in a way that honors the Lord or represents my ministry well. I’m being a major hypocrite by living with so many double standards.

So I’m grateful for being called out on my hypocrisy. And I’m grateful for this morning’s sermon talking about living a life that not filled with judgement but filled with the love and principles of Christ. Being a Christian without being nasty and judgemental, not being a Pharisee.

Let’s continue this journey together by holding each other accountable using the love of Christ.

Way Maker

Where is God?

Most days I ask myself where is God in all of this?

Well I just haven’t been looking very hard for Him because He is everywhere. He is in every single detail. He works through my boyfriend. He works through my pastor. He calls to me on the days where I’m unable to crawl off the couch and He comforts me. He is always there. Always.

So where is God in all of this? Just look around.

Support System

I don’t know what I would do without my support system.

My very small close knit to me circle of people is astronomically important to me. They get it. They deal with their own mental chaos as well and they don’t drop me when I accidentally go four months living as a shut in because I can’t find the strength to leave the house let alone answer my phone.

But, while I’m drowning they’re praying. They’re making sure I’m alive. They’re waiting. And when I resurface from survival mode they’re there. No questions asked.

And I don’t know what I would do without them. I hope I am able to love them and support them as much as they do for me.

When you are going through the highs and lows of life and of mental illness there is nothing more important than your relationship with the Lord and your support system of people who love you and the Lord. That combination is my rock.

My support system reminds me to go to God, they challenge me to read my Bible and take a shower and get out of the house. They encourage me to call my doctor and actually be honest with him about how I’m doing.

Sticking to my treatment plan has been so incredibly difficult. But each time I fall off the horse they are there to help me get back up.

I can’t do this alone. Mental health is not something you go through alone. You go through it with your doctor, support system, and God.

God is Amazing

This past week I had two seperate meetings with girls I am mentoring and they both brought up a topic I’ve been struggling with since COVID started. It had nothing to do with the book we are reading together, or the topics we were discussing in our meetings, they just felt that topic so heavy on their hearts that they both needed to talk about it.

They have no idea how badly I needed to hear what they were talking about, or that God was talking through them. But because of them I felt the Holy Spirit tugging on my heart, and I felt convicted to work on that area of my life.

I love these moments where I can see God’s hand at work.

Philippians 2:13 “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”