Love > Bitterness

Lysa TerKeurst has been through the wringer. Satan has attacked her and her family because she is allowing God to work through her and use her. She has been strong through it all and so filled with the grace and love of Christ. 

I strive to get to the place where my circumstances will not destroy my relationship with God or my mood. Even a little bit. I pray that God will use my pain and suffering and trials and that I won’t become hardened and bitter. 

Her circumstances over the past few years would have left me bedridden and destroyed. The ultimate human rejection. I don’t think my bounce back from that heartbreak would be filled with as much understanding and grace as hers was. I don’t know what her time of mourning looked like after finding out of her husband’s infidelity but I know that how she wrote about it and used the pain to showcase the love of Christ was monumental and incredible. Truly a mirror image to the love of our Lord. 

She is a representation of beauty from ashes. Learning from her pain. Growing and building her relationship with God despite her grief. What Satan meant for destruction the Lord used for good. The forgiveness and grace for her husband is huge and beautiful. Their love for each other and the rebuilding of what was broken is just such a testament to God’s love. 

I want to hug her so tightly and thank her for her testimony. I pray the Lord can work on my heart and soften it so that I pour out love instead of bitterness. 

Isaiah 41:1 God is our refuge and strength. A very present help in trouble. 

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

Isaiah 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. 

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GRACE!

Oh How He Loves Me!

Praise the Lord. I received a call this morning from my insurance company regarding the lawsuit against me. I politely interrupted him and gave him my moms name and number. I cannot handle it any longer. Ended the call with him and within a few minutes get a call from my mom. THEY DROPPED THE LAWSUIT. What?! SERIOUSLY?! I won’t have to go to a million court dates. I won’t have to get a lawyer. I won’t have to try and find thousands of dollars that I do not have. They dropped the lawsuit.

Oh Heavenly Father I struggled to praise You through that storm but I cried out to you mercilessly. I felt helpless over those countless nights laying awake filled with anxiety and frustration but You were there. You saw me through it. You held me through it all. You knew the outcome. You probably shook Your head at me as I shook with anxiety and frustration. I worried. I panicked. I cried a lot. I haven’t slept. But You knew what was going to happen. Your grace through my stupidity is immeasurable.

 

Phew. Lord. Your grace is fantastic, it is undeserved, it is beautiful, and in my life it is oh so necessary. I struggle big time with falling on my knees at the cross and handing my worries over. I choose 9 times out of 10 to stay in control and hold on to all of the anxieties that drag me down. Where would I be without You?